Shari rulings about condolence

Shari Rulings About Condolence

Darulifta Ahlesunnat

(Dawateislami)

Question

  What do the Islamic scholars say about these matters: (1) What is the ruling about condolence after three days, is it Makruh-e- Tahreemi or Makruh-e- Tanzeehi? (2) What are the better words specified for condolence? Is it enough to be classified as words of condolence just to say the words of Dua and to say that I came to know about the death of your mother, may Allah Almighty forgive her? (3) What is the purpose of condolence and why is it done?

بِسْمِ اللہِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِیْمِ

اَلْجَوَابُ بِعَوْنِ الْمَلِکِ الْوَھَّابِ اَللّٰھُمَّ ھِدَایَۃَ الْحَقِّ وَالصَّوَابِ

  The time period of condolence is three days after death. It is better to show condolence on the first day. However, if a person is not informed about someone’s death, he can show condolence later on as well. For other people it is Makruh –e-Tanzeehi to show condolence after three days.

  A’la Hazrat رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْه has said, “It is better for condolence to be on the very first day.In Durr-e-Mukhtar اَوَّلُہَا اَفْضَلُھَا:  means the first day is the best one amongst condolence days”(Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 9, pp. 359)

  (2)Words of Dua and solace are both considered to be the words of condolence. Explaining the way of condolence, Mufti Amjad Ali A’zami رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْه has said, ‘It should be said in condolence, may Allah Almighty forgive the deceased, cover him with His mercy, bless you with patience, and bless you with reward on this loss. Our Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم gave condolence with these words: لِلّٰہِ مَا اَخَذَ وَاَعْطٰی وَکُلُّ شَیْئٍ عِنْدَہٗ بِاَجَلٍ مُّسَمًّی“What Allah gave belongs to Him and what He took back belongs to Him, and everything has a specific time limit in His court(Bahar-e-Shari’at, vol.  1, pp. 851, part 4, Maktaba-tul-Madinah)

  The renowned commentator of Quran, Hakeem-ul-Ummat Mufti Ahmad Yar Khan Na`eemi رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْه has said, ‘Words of condolence should be so beautiful to make the grieved person calm down. These words have also been mentioned in the books of Islamic Jurisprudence. It’s my experience that if the bereaved are reminded of the events of Karbala and they are told, ‘We people die eating and drinking, but those blessed princes died when they had been fasting for three days,’ this comforts them.’(Mirat-ul-Manajih, vol. 2, pp. 507)

  (3)-The main purpose of condolence is to persuade family members of the deceased to be patient and to give them courage by  expressing sympathy to them. Condolence is a Sunnah act, and in the case of a close relative, the importance of condolence increases due to the requirements of tying kinship with relatives. Similarly in the relationships like friends, colleagues, neighbors etc it’s very important to show condolence and give courage to the family members of the deceased person. This action of showing condolence to the relatives and acquaintances, and praying for the deceased not only pleases the family of deceased person but also lessens their utmost grief. It also prevents the one who shows condolence from being a selfish person. The person who participates in joys and sorrows of relatives, friends and neighbors is called an affable person, and to be an affable person is one of the moral virtues.   It is stated in Faiz-ul-Qadeer,‘Imam Nawawi رَحْمَةُ اللهِ عَلَيْه says that condolence means to advise someone for patience and to discuss the things that may comfortthe family members of the deceased and to lessen their grief and loss.(Faiz-ul-Qadeer, vol. 6, pp. 232)

وَاللہُ اَعْلَمُ  عَزَّوَجَلَّ  وَرَسُوْلُہ اَعْلَم صَلَّی اللّٰہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم

Answered by:Mufti Abu Muhammad Ali Asghar Attari